
Gary Newbold, 27, was the first flat earther sent into space, in a bid by the government to combat conspiracy theorists by exposing them to undeniable visual evidence.
The Government's plan backfired spectacularly after Gary returned to Earth adamant that the Earth was flat, and therefore his eyes must be in on the hoax. Mr Newbold said ‘I was taught to never trust your eyes. I mean - where do they go at night, have you ever thought about that?’
Gary rubbished claims that he is a conspiracy theorist, asserting, ‘I just learned to always question things from Joe Rogan, I mean why would you just believe the experts, what do they know?’
After noticing his eyes were globe shaped just like in the fake round Earth theory, Gary removed both of his eyes with a spork, declaring that the evidence irrefutably showed his eyes were inside agents.
He claims he can now see better than ever, thanks to Joe Rogan awakening his 3rd eye. Despite his 3rd eye Gary remains house bound after dismissing his guide dog, upon learning it had been trained.