Jungle disease 'Farage' set to spread

The WHO has warned that an outbreak of 'Farage' could hearld a return to masks - if only to cover up his gurning face. Carried by mosquitos and British Airways, Farage is said to twice as deadly as the flu and three times as moronic as Lawrence Fox.

The disease can be spread through liquids but only craft ale. An airborne mutation has been heard on GB News and Farage can be carried through the blood, but only if you believe in racial purity.

The NHS is bracing itself for a Winter outbreak of xenophobia and losing all its foreign nurses. A doctor said: 'Be on the lookout for symptoms. Vomiting is not uncommon should you meet Farage. And the symptoms are just as bad.'

Boris meets with his publicly funded lawyers after appearing at the Covid inquiry

COVID Inquiry Latest...

Baroness Hallett: Thank you for joining us, Lord Stevens. I know you are a busy man.

Lord Stevens: Anything I can do to assist, Baroness Hallet. I feel that this is a very important matter.

Baroness Hallett: Very well. Perhaps we may begin by getting your broad overview of the government's actions during the COVID lockdown, and its impact on the NHS whilst you were its Chief Executive.

Lord Stevens: There was a government...?

Image: Pixabay/PublicDomainPictures