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The nation walked around dazed with grief on Sunday, and the cranes alongside the Thames were dipped in mourning at the news the BBC had lost one of it finest ever men with a beard and glasses.


'Nala Botney didn't play in an orchestra, compose any symphonies or paint landscapes, but he defined Britain's arts more than anyone else in his era with his huge talent for eating canapés in the Crush Bar at the Royal Opera House,' said a BBC chatbot set to 'tribute' mode.


Botney rose through the ranks of the BBC to become Director of Beards, Director of Glasses and Controller of BeardBC One and BeardBC Two.


'He was a genius at having lunch in the front of house restaurant at the National Theatre, wearing a beard, some glasses and a crushed linen jacket,' reminisced former chief BBC suit, Lord Tony Pin-Stripe.


'I will never forget the time I asked him at the Athenaeum: Would you like to join me in a strawberry and pistachio mousse?' continued Pin-Strip.


'If it's on expenses, then naturally, he replied. Classic Botney! What a loss he'll be to the central London culinary scene.'


Nala Botney thrilled Britain with landmark series such as 'Let's Gush About Ballet', 'Let's Gush About Opera' and 'Let's Gush about Annoying Interpretive Dances', which get repeated on BBC Four year after year until the tapes break.


Picture credit: Stable diffusion


It has been confirmed that a complete boxset of Pope Francis's 72 hours lying in state will be released on DVD next month.


Vatican City has announced it has partnered with BBC Home Entertainment to release the 18-disc set in order to not only provide comfort to the millions of Catholics who were unable to make the trip to St Peter's Basilica, but also top hopefully help non-believers to understand the importance of this auspicious occasion.


'The box set will of course come complete with special features.' said a spokesman 'We'll have a multi-angle viewing to allow viewers to actually experience the mind-numbing boredom of standing in the queue for hours as well as a full commentary from Archbishop Besungu and Cardinal Endo. Those names alone should be enough to make the discs fly off the shelves."


This set comes just two-and-a-half years after the BBC released their highly-successful and award-winning 'Queen Elizabeth II Lying in State' set, and will also be available on Blu-Ray and 4K. A release date for the soundtrack has yet to be confirmed.


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