
Embattled American Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth had admitted that he ‘inadvertently’ released highly sensitive nuclear launch information to the public. The information was contained in a skywritten message that appeared over Washington, DC yesterday afternoon. The message said ‘THE PASSWORD FOR ALL-OUT NUCLEAR LAUNCH IS “PASSWORD” ’. A Pentagon source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said ‘unfortunately, the information contained in the message is substantially accurate.’
One of Hegseth’s neighbours in the nation’s capital said that Hegseth rented the plane to provide ‘some unique entertainment’ for the neighbour’s gender-reveal party. ‘But I’m sure it’s not like the North Koreans saw it or anything,’ the neighbour said. ‘I mean, they’re way on the other side of the world, over by, like, Africa or somewhere.’
Other partygoers were less forgiving. Said one, ‘You know that guy that everyone thought would be the first in the class to get fired from three jobs? That’s Pete.’ ‘He means well,’ said another, ‘but he just doesn’t have any discernible skill, so now that he’s inexplicably got some sensitive responsibilities, he likes to show off.’ A third likened Hegseth to ‘the little boy running around in a plastic fireman’s hat. You usually just humour him, but, yeah, that nuclear war thing is a little dicey, isn’t it?’
image from pixabay