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Embattled American Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth had admitted that he ‘inadvertently’ released highly sensitive nuclear launch information to the public. The information was contained in a skywritten message that appeared over Washington, DC yesterday afternoon. The message said ‘THE PASSWORD FOR ALL-OUT NUCLEAR LAUNCH IS “PASSWORD” ’. A Pentagon source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said ‘unfortunately, the information contained in the message is substantially accurate.’


One of Hegseth’s neighbours in the nation’s capital said that Hegseth rented the plane to provide ‘some unique entertainment’ for the neighbour’s gender-reveal party. ‘But I’m sure it’s not like the North Koreans saw it or anything,’ the neighbour said. ‘I mean, they’re way on the other side of the world, over by, like, Africa or somewhere.’


Other partygoers were less forgiving. Said one, ‘You know that guy that everyone thought would be the first in the class to get fired from three jobs? That’s Pete.’ ‘He means well,’ said another, ‘but he just doesn’t have any discernible skill, so now that he’s inexplicably got some sensitive responsibilities, he likes to show off.’ A third likened Hegseth to ‘the little boy running around in a plastic fireman’s hat. You usually just humour him, but, yeah, that nuclear war thing is a little dicey, isn’t it?’


image from pixabay



US defence secretary Pete Hegseth has posted a borderline treasonous video on various social media sites.


He has filmed himself spray painting America's plans for seizing Greenland onto the back wall of the White House. 'This isn't secret,' he says, 'those Eskimos know we're coming for them. Anyway, hardly any of them can read.'


Donald Trump has firmly backed Hegseth over two previous incidents. He published battle plans to attack Yemen after mistakenly adding a journalist to the message group. And in the second case he sent war plans to a group including his wife, presumably so that she'd know when to put the dinner on '


Trump said, 'our battle plans aren't secret. Hegseth is a good guy. I beat him at golf every time.'


Pete Hegseth's latest effort looks set to test Donald Trump's allegiance once again. The spray painting is in a bright orange colour. If he's used the President's fake tan, then he's in big trouble.


Hegseth said, 'I've posted the videos because I believe in free speech. I left Fox News for the kudos and the kickbacks, but it's less fun than I expected. Honestly, what does a guy have to do round here to get sacked?'


image from pixabay

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