In the absence of any policies, the election debate was reduced to a glorified pissing contest, with a bonus round on whose dad was the hardest. The party leaders then compared who had the coolest digital watch, followed by arm wrestling, best of three.
A confused studio audience watched the two miniscule men declare a frantic thumb war, although the moderator had to warn them not to be too loud, or she would confiscate their smart phones. Starmer riduculed Sunak's immigration policy and haircut, while Sunak accused Starmer of being fiscally irresponsible and smelling like poo.
Neither could grasp the basic arithmetic part of the debate but they both excelled at colouring in those they planned to deport. Sunak boasted he had kissed a girl, with tongues, but under questioning admitted it was his Mum. Whereas Starmer claimed he no longer wet the bed everytime someone said Jeremy Corbyn. Voters were left underwhelmed as both candidates left the stage, as it was long past their nap time.
image from pixabay
