A middle-aged man has told his wife he is ‘absolutely fine’ following his first ever Pilates session. Despite feeling broken throughout his entire body, Gerald Cook is still insisting that Pilates is what old women do after they give up proper exercise.
When wife Wendy suggested going to some exercise classes together as part of their New Year health kick, Gerald felt confident that he would be able to cope. Especially when she suggested Pilates rather than cardio sessions or high intensity workouts. After all, he played Sunday morning football every week until ten years ago and can still run around the garden with his grandchildren for at least five minutes before needing a rest. Pilates would be a doddle.
The couple prepared for their new healthy regime by buying a completely new set of gym wear or ‘PE kit’ as Gerald called it. Keen to provide a bit of eye candy for all the old dears in the Pilates class, Gerald chose a set of figure-hugging Lycra that really should not be available in his size. Wendy on the other hand, bought some clothes one size too small on the assumption that she’d be able to wear them once she’d lost some weight. Meanwhile, she would wear a pair of old leggings and one of Gerald’s old Genesis t-shirts to the classes.
On arrival at the class, Gerald felt slightly less comfortable. Fifteen people of various ages had already laid out their mats, leaving a big space at the front where Gerald and Wendy would have to go. The only other bloke there was taller, slimmer, about 10 years younger and noticeably fitter than him. He also felt the need to introduce himself and warn Gerald to take it easy to begin with. Gerald smiled and muttered unconvincingly, ‘I don’t think that will be necessary.’
The teacher Jane seemed very nice but rather patronising, thought Gerald. She told him and Wendy to just do what they could, and to stop if anything hurt. ‘Discomfort is good, pain is bad’ she told them, while Gerald remembered the old adage, ‘No pain, no gain.’ He would show her.
And then the class started with some breathing exercises and gentle mobilisation. ‘This is going to be even easier than I expected’ thought Gerald.
One hour later, he was a total wreck but of course, he couldn’t show it. All the strength-based movements had been too difficult because he had no strength. The flexibility exercises had demonstrated that his body has no flexibility. And every stretch had been a stretch for him.
The worst part was that Wendy had appeared to breeze through the class and was now talking to Jane about some exercises she could do at home to strengthen her core, whatever that meant.
‘See you next week’, Jane called out to them as they walked out. ‘And don’t worry Gerald, you’ll soon be able to do some of the exercises you struggled with.’
The following day, Gerald explained to Wendy that he was absolutely fine although he had slept awkwardly which explained his aching shoulders. He also said that he wanted to make a start on clearing out the garage so he probably wouldn’t be able to do Pilates the following week.
Image: UptownFitness - Pixabay
