Consumers report a 38% decrease in lingering eye contact and coquettish banter among the serving classes. A recent study suggests that an alarming number of self-checkout staff are refusing to smile with a raised eyebrow as you call for assistance.
They rarely lean over, breathing softly against your neck and let their fingers lightly brush against yours as you fumble for your credit-card. None of these minimum wage teases, seem to play with their hair anymore or laugh at our jokes. Instead, it’s all a perfunctory ‘Can I help?’ with no offer of a ‘Happy Ending’.
Complained one customer: ‘I’m not demanding special treatment – I just want a prolonged hug and my buttocks to be firmly grabbed. I tipped 10% - so the least I can expect is a foot rub. Just because you are poorly paid and half my age – does not mean you should not offer service with a smile – and become the mother of my children. Definitely that last bit.’
Photo by Simon Kadula on Unsplash
- Lockjaw
- Nov 13, 2024
A NewsBiscuit investigative team provided this statement from 'Barry'.
'It started out innocent enough. Grandad would let me have a Werther's Original when I was round at his house. Then one day, when he wasn't watching, I helped myself to one of his peppermint balls. That was it. I would spend my pocket money on Polos. They lost their zing after a while and I moved onto the stronger Trebor mints.
I couldn't stop. Even when I had to get teeth pulled 'cos all the sugar made my teeth rot. I kept wanting stronger and stronger hits. Eventually, a friend offered me a Fisherman's Friend. That was it. I was up to half a packet a day.
'Happily, my family staged an intervention and arranged a consultation with a specialist. They're easing me off the strong stuff, little by little. I'm currently on a packet of Halls Mentholyptus Extra Strength. It's been tough going, but I feel that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope to be on Cheese and Onion crisps by the end of 2025.'
We wish 'Barry' well in his struggle.
Image credit: Carl Spencer, licensed under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/