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The never-ending railway development, is set to last longer than re-runs of 'Friends'. Tracks continue to be laid for no other reason than they were there, a bit like Uni students at Fresher's Week.
An oversight by planners have seen the project overrun, literally, with tracks now covering three fifths of the Earth's surface. Confessed one contractor: 'We were supposed to terminate at Euston Station but instead we kept going. Currently we are somewhere near the Suez Canal and not one buffet cart in sight.
'At the other end, skipping Birmingham proved popular with our focus groups, but now we don't know where to stop. Wales is too wet and the Irish sea is...well, too wet.' Asked if she thought the project would be delayed further: 'The upside of a track that never ends, is there aren’t enough leaves to cover it’.
Updated: Sep 16, 2022
Thirty three year old mum of three and self-proclaimed "World's Number 1 Friends Fan", Laura Bishop, of Newport, was beside herself yesterday after finding an episode of the surprisingly popular 1990s sitcom "Friends", which she had never seen before.
"I was just channel hopping when, all of a sudden, I found myself on E4+1. The theme music came on and I sang along, as you do, and a funny feeling came over me. It all felt slightly different, yet totally familiar." she told our reporter, adding, "I consider myself to be an expert on the show and it's my specialist subject if I'm ever asked to go on the Mastermind."
"I've always been a huge fan of the show and I thought I'd seen every episode but this was unbelievable, like discovering a new colour, opening the tomb of the Sphinx or crossing the Rubix cube."
"I couldn't believe it. It's called: The one where Joey buys toothpaste. I was mesmerised. For the first few minutes I couldn't move. Then the adverts came on and I started texting and messaging all my friends to let them know."
"Jen told me I had seen it before, but she was thinking of "The one where Chandler buys floss" and Karen said she's seen it but couldn't tell me what colour earrings Rachel was wearing, so I don't believe her."
When asked if she had enjoyed the episode, Laura replied, "Even though I missed the last 10 minutes because a parcel came and I had to sign for it, then I forgot I was watching TV and made a cup of tea. When I got back to the living room it was over, but I absolutely loved it."
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