In a major change in voting regulations in next year's BAFTA Film Awards, the academy are merging Best Actor in a Leading Role and Best Actress in a Leading Role into one award honouring Mortal Kombat II.
A BAFTA spokesperson said: 'I am sick of the debate about separating performers based on gender identity. If I have to read any more op-eds about JK Rowling or Ricky Gervais' backward attempts at relevancy, I am going to smelt the Adapted Screenplay statue onto my own face so I can't read them.'
When asked if it was possible to quantify the quality of Ethan Hawke's chameleonic turn in Blue Moon against Renate Reinsve's searing portrayal of familial neglect in Sentimental Value, the spokesperson replied:
'The only time I've been able to dodge discourse this year is seeing Karl Urban fight with a laser-powered Australian. And it was f***ing fantastic.'
Image: WixAI
