Sir Jim has mothballed three Ineos chemical plants because he did not anticipate that the cost of gas might go up – during a war with Russia. He is also the same man who forgot to buy a left back for Man Utd, despite Luke Shaw being 67 years old. Ignoring these oversights, Sir Jim has been quick to label the Uk as failing – and this coming from someone who lost to Hull City.
The billionaire insisted that the UK economy was on decline – which is a bit rich coming from someone for who tax avoidance is his bread and butter…although technically the bread and butter probably belonged to someone else. Happy to take subsidies from the British people but reluctant to put in a shift, Sir Jim is one welfare beneficiary who could do with a back to work plan. After consecutive defeats, he keeps banging on about "Project Rebuild" - which consists of changing the training cones from orange to yellow.
His core skill is repeatedly buying the wrong people, putting them in the wrong positions, and then blaming the invisible hand of the market. In reality the economy is generally considered too important to be entrusted to a man whose long-term recovery plan begins ‘hoof it up to Harry Maguire and hope for the best’. If your answer to every crisis is "the lads gave 110%", then eventually someone will question your grasp of maths.
Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here