Tough Talk with Steven Stickler

SS: Today, I will be speaking with the new chairman of UK PLC. Good evening, Keith.

KS: Good evening, Steven.

SS: Let's start with a brief look over your career. You were, for a time, a barrister; then rose to Director of Public Prosecutions, before becoming an MP. Why the career change?

KS: I wanted to make a difference ... to the lives of working people.

SS: Eventually, you became chairman of Disconnected UK, and then, ruthlessly, some might say, sacked most of the board. Was that necessary?

KS: I thought so. We had become bogged down in dogma and ideological infighting. We need to created a fresh vision for ourselves and our customers.

SS: Then this year you launched a successful take-over of UK PLC, with a landslide vote from the UK shareholders.

KS: Yes. It was very gratifying to receive their trust to take the company forward.

SS: All well and good. You made great gains by accusing the previous incumbents of lying, and working for their personal gain.

KS: Yes, indeed.

SS: Yet here we are, a couple of months in to your tenure and, it appears, that you are equally guilty of the same faults.

KS: Well (licks lips), I don't think that is fair. We have merely received gifts from well-wishers.

SS: Gifts that you are now returning because, if I may say, it made your 'holier than thou' stance somewhat untenable. But let's move on. You say that you want to bring benefits to the workers of this company, but, I would argue, you haven't even met any.

KS: That's not true. I and my colleagues have visited factories up and down the country.

SS: Yes, but does wandering about in a hard hat and a hi-viz jacket, surrounded by upper management really give you a feel for the needs of the working person?

KS: I'm sorry, Steven. I think that's all the time we have.

SS: Well, thank you for appearing on Tough Talk. ... That was Keith, the new chairman of UK PLC. It remains to be seen if this is the graft or grift board of directors. Next week Laura Kuenssberg on how to conduct an inciteful political interview.

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That Laura Kuennsberg interview

Laura Kuenssberg accused of being too lenient on Labour

Conservative MPs past and present have rounded on the BBCs political correspondent who they believe has been treating Labour too lightly lately.

'She didn't press the Prime Minister on how many after dinner mints he was given at the last meal he had,' said one Tory MP.  'Sure, she mentioned he'd had some football tickets to matches he'd already paid to see, but she didn't ask if he paid for the programme,' he thundered while denying his own paid-for attendance at a Premier League team for the last four seasons was grift but instead was 'research into the sporting opportunities for constituents' admitting that the team in question was one hundred miles from his constituency.

'She didn't go in hard enough over that caravan holiday in West Wales,' shouted another MP, who denied his fully paid-for holidays in Mustique with all food and drink thrown in was comparable.  'I was effectively trapped on the island every bloody time they sent me there - Starmer could have just hitched the caravan up and gone to a different location any time he wanted,' he alleged.  'And did he pay for the towing bracket?  She didn't ask that either,' he said.

A BBC spokesman denied Ms Kuenssberg was going soft on Labour after fourteen years of slapping Conservative MPs on the back and publicly bigging them up.  'Someone had to boost their ego, otherwise they would have been left with only the Daily Mail, The Sun, GB News and Talk TV,' he said.

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