.
top of page
Search

The estate agent handling the sale said: 'It's quite a niche market, most buyers don't need that many dungeons. It would certainly work as an evil lair, as you could easily convert the 'pleasure pit' into a shark tank.
'We did have some interest from a Royal buyer, but he was £12m short. Bill Clinton and Bill Gates both made inquiries, but that was to make sure they had left no fingerprints.
'It's got fascinating history and an even more interesting FBI file. But we do advise the new owner not to use uv lighting in 90% of the rooms'.

Dignitas are offering a special discount to any member of the Illuminati who would like to avoid questioning by Interpol. Said a spokeswoman: ‘Normally we would only assist the terminally ill, but we are broadening our offer to include anyone who has met Peter Mandelson’.
Assisted Suicide covers a range of services; including a soundproof police cell, no CCTV and a surprisingly large number of nooses left lying around. Said one Assassin: ‘Basically its seven degrees of Jeffrey Epstein. If we think you might spill the beans, we’ll be visiting you with a nice cup of Horlicks and a spoonful of Ricin’.
Dignitas confirmed: ‘The great thing about the scheme, is you don’t have to volunteer for it, Bill Clinton will do that for you. Some kindly benefactor has already paid for Giselle Maxwell and Prince Andrew’s butler’
bottom of page