Firebrand left-winger Jeremy Corbyn, having run out of other people to split from, has now split himself in half.
Having split from Zarah Sultana, co-leader of the People’s Front of Islington, a party they both formed when they split from Labour, Corbyn said he noticed a strange tremor passing through his body. Once it had passed, he saw that he was now two people, who were of course bitterly opposed to each other.
In a scene many have described as reminiscent of Gollum in Lord of the Rings, he then proceeded to argue with himself.
“It’s alright, I’ll found a new party with my friends.'
'You don’t have any friends! Except Hamas, of course.'
'Maybe I’ll go and dig the allotment and think things over.'
'Oh that’s right, just walk away from the mess you’ve made, as usual…'
He then mumbled something about needing to get back “the precious', by which he is thought to mean the means of production, distribution and exchange.
His alter-ego then taunted him he’d even split from Diane Abbott, to which he replied that he was never going to regret that.
He finally made a public statement admitting that rather than 'Your Party' it had turned out to be just his party, since he’s the only remaining member.
Image: moiranazzari - Pixabay
