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Good vet gets plate of lamb cutlets back on its feet


Diners at a Liverpool Street bistro looked on in utter disbelief as a good vet got a plate of lamb cutlets back on its feet again.


Hedge Fund Investor, Tim Shannon, ordered Cannon of Lamb cooked medium-rare. He said: ‘I'm not squeamish but when it came it was almost swimming in blood. I mentioned to my colleague “a good vet could get that back on its feet again" and with that all hell broke loose.


‘Some chap shouts out, "stand back, I’m a vet!” He then shoos us away from our table and erects a makeshift screen around it using a few tablecloths.


‘We hear a bit of puffing and panting, then to everyone’s amazement a bleating sound. Next thing we see is the chap emerging from behind the screen carrying this beautiful fluffy lamb.’


Restaurant Proprietor, Gyles Pettigrew, told reporters. ‘It was amazing and publicity has done us no harm.'


When asked how the lamb was doing after the ordeal, Pettigrew added: 'Oh, the little fellow is just fine. He’s out the back in the freezer preparing to guest star in Wednesday's Gourmet Evening.'




First published 29 May 2023


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Tottenham in talks with stop-motion character to become next manager


The Chief Executive of Tottenham Hotspur has confirmed the club are in talks with a French stop motion character with a view to becoming their next full time manager.


Majority shareholders ENIC say the as yet unnamed Frenchman, who is currently out of work after leaving his post as a fairground manager is available to take over at Spurs immediately and is considered by the Tottenham board to be the perfect fit to revive the fortunes of the ailing EPL club.


Chief Executive Venus Ventasackem said the new manager has been described as a talking jack-in-a box with magical powers who would appeal to the Spurs fan base who have been crying out for such an appointment since the glory days under Bill Nicholson.


If agreeing to take over at the club it is thought the new manager would want to bring in his own backroom staff, dietician, set piece coach and medical staff.


Rumours that a drop-eared terrier had been seen house hunting with a snail, a cow and a hippy rabbit in north London has triggered rumours about the identity of the mystery manager with some fans speculating on social media that it might be former Spurs favourite David Ginola.


But Ginola denied he had been approached by his old club saying it sounded more like the lunchtime menu at a French truck stop than the back up team of an EPL manager.


Although, considering the last few appointments Tottenham have made Ginola agreed that would be a marked improvement.


image by Grok

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