Similarities of Mechanically Recovered Meat and Reform Policies

Reformed meat, the worst kind of meat, has similarities with Reform Policies, the worst kind of policies.

How Mechanically Recovered Meat is made

• Meat is separated from flesh-bearing bones or poultry carcasses through a high-pressure mechanical process

• The meat is pushed through a sieve, or similar device, to separate it from the bones

• This process modifies or destroys the original muscle fibre structure, resulting in a paste-like consistency

• The final product can be used to bulk up other meat products

• The end result is a mound of paste like slurry, consisting of meat, fat, and gristle

How a Reform Policy is made 

• Policies are separated from Conservative Manifestos, and YouTube comments sections, through high-pressure verbal abuse

• The proposal is pushed through a narrow-minded focus group, or similar method, to separate it from reason

• This process modifies or destroys the original policy structure, resulting in poor consistency

• The final product can be used to bulk up other empty manifesto promises

• The end result is a policy that is liked by mounds of paste like slurry, consisting of meat, fat, and gristle

Image credit: perchance.org

Labour's plan to stop the smuggling gangs with co-operatives

Labour have devised a radical plan to stop the smuggling gangs with co-operatives. An anonymous source has shown our reporter a secret internal Labour Party document which outlines an innovative plan to stop the gangs smuggling migrants across the English Channel.

The idea is to undercut the gangs by using traditional socialist methods. Migrants will be encouraged to form their own co-operative societies to facilitate the crossing of the channel. These clubs will source boats, life jackets and essential supplies.

An international association formed from these local groups will produce pamphlets in several languages giving advice on navigation, survival at sea, and how to call the coastguard once the halfway point has been crossed.

The hoped-for effect is that the gangs will find their huge profits have disappeared. If the co-operatives make any profits, they will be reinvested or distributed to members.

A Labour Party spokesman refused to confirm or deny the authenticity of the plan. But he did say that it was important for Labour to stick to its principles whilst in government. 'These violent, capitalist gangs were classic exploiters of poor working class migrants,' he said. 'It was a manifesto commitment to stop the gangs, not the migrants'

Picture credit: Wix AI

Militant feminist campaign group refuses to publish a manifesto

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