top of page
Search

AI has discovered all jokes and comedy has now been completed

BillClay
5 days ago

It has been announced that AI has discovered all jokes and there are no new humorous phrases or actions left.


All humour is now just Gemini copies of a Claude version of a Co-pilot reproduction of a racist Grok comment.

AI has absorbed all the internet, been fed books and watched all of the Chuckle Brother’s work. As the last book of 1001 dad jokes was scanned and shredded, AI stated that comedy is now complete.


Any phrases in comments sections or in your “encrypted” personal texts that has a laughing emoji or the word lol after it have been fed into The Algorithm. It then exponentially extrapolates into all possible versions to ensure that maximum comedy has been actualised. It is now creating quantum comedy, which is both funny and not funny at the same time, like how people view Mrs Brown's Boys. Apart from the funny half.


It is now literally impossible for the puny fleshy sentient meat bags to create any original material, as all possible versions of all possible comedy have been created. Full content has been provided; there is no more.

The last ever original joke was Trump trying to rename AI as Super Intelligence.




Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here

Man who enjoyed BAFTAs finally admits sleeping through the whole thing

Writer: dominic_mcg
dominic_mcg
Mar 16

Colin Jameson, 38, of Newport Pagnall has finally admitted to family and friends that he slept all the way though this year's BAFTAs.


Jameson, of Acacia Avenue, arrived at work on Monday, fully prepared to join in all the conversations about this year's awards ceremony after having seen a thirty second clip on Good Morning Britain. He quickly memorised the big prizes and was ready to comment on the frocks should the occasion arrive.


Colin's wife Carol told us, “When he came to bed Colin told me he really enjoyed the awards and started going on about dresses and Cumberbatch but I could hear him snoring from upstairs where I was watching Dancing on Ice in the bedroom.”


“I first became suspicious when he told us how funny Rebel Wilson's jokes were,” said co-worker, Steve Andrews. “It was utter crap." he told our reporter. "I watched the first few minutes and even I had to switch it off and I like Mrs Brown's Boys!”



First published 16 Mar 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















BBC alienates last remaining viewer

Writer: Wrenfoe
Wrenfoe
Jan 18


Paul Singh (58) had doggedly stuck by the UK broadcaster through thick and thicker, enduring the BBC being accused of bias, corruption and three series of Mrs Brown’s Boys. The last straw for Paul, was when the BBC Panorama ran a five-part documentary entitled ‘Why Paul Singh is a C$nt?’.


Said long-suffering Paul: ‘I’m not saying I don’t like shoddy journalism, vacuous game shows and pontificating celebrities – it’s just that I’ve already got ITV’.




First published 18 Jan 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















bottom of page