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The group’s spokesperson confirmed: ‘You can’t be a proscribed a terror group, if you don’t exist.’ Officials at the Home Office have been left scratching their heads about this legal loophole, said one: ‘Technically you’re not allowed to spray paint RAF aircraft, but I suppose you can if you’re Prince Andrew.’


Members of Palestine Action have been advised to change their names by deed poll to Bill Clinton and Bill Gates, thus making them immune to prosecution. The spokesperson said: ‘Even our controversial views about the Middle East are completely fine, if we just attribute the quotes to Tony Blair’. You might think calling our base of operations Paedo Island, would draw the attention of the police. But if anything, the police have helpfully burned all their documents and offered to turn a blind eye if we need Mossad to assassinate anyone.’


‘Of course the most effective way to avoid criminal prosecution is just to call ourselves Benjamin Netanyahu.’



"President Trump's case for the 2025 Peace Prize is overwhelming," said a spokes-dove for the Nobel awards committee.


"He says he wants a peace prize, which is good enough for us. And he has an impressive list of nominators.


"There's the cuddly Benjamin 'Bibi' Netanyahu, the Antichrist, and that Erin woman in Australia who killed her relatives with poisoned mushrooms.


"You think we're joking, don't you? But we're the committee which handed this prize to Henry Kissinger right at the time he was overseeing the bombing of neutral Cambodia during the Vietnam War.


"That's the kind of person we hand out this award to. So if you want to survive throughout your life with your reputation intact, just hope you never get put on a Nobel Peace Prize shortlist."



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