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'Sure, why not?' said Secretary General Dick Traitorship. 'When we overthrow the evil Democrat leadership in a military coup by storming the Capitol Building and the White House, we will restore some form of free and fair election system.
'The main problem with democracy is the electorate. Despite all the evidence that their votes count for nothing, some people still can't stop themselves voting for a Democrat Dictatorship. They seriously fear freedom, which I know many will find hard to comprehend outside the People's Democratic Republic of America.
'It might sound ridiculous to some, perhaps even like a dangerous thing to say, but we need to be more open, fair and progressive. Like Russia, China and North Korea.
'We must continue to support and revere our Most Benevolent General Secretary of the Republican Party, Donald Jesus Trump. He will 'fix' everything, put an end to people ageing and dying, and instantly bring world peace. He is the only one who can lead a glorious revolution and install a Thousand Year Democracy in this great land.'
image from pixabay
On his rare visit to Pyongyang, Putin has been treated to a celebration of North Korea's success in battling famine and its lack of pizza toppings. A parade of tank-sized vegetables marched through the city, while emaciated children sung of their glorious hunger-pangs and preference for a low carb diet.
Officials told the Russian Leader that Kim Jung-Un had elected to feed the starving millions, by lactating: 'The Supreme Leader is able to metamorphosize at will and can produce a 1,000 gallons of full cream milk. The grateful masses will gather for his bounteous gift and sup upon his divine moobs. All praise his milky-goodness.
'Any leftover drippings from Kim Jung-Un will be coagulated into butter and cheese mountains, for the people to ski upon. We assure you there is no shortage of food, we just have an excess of stomachs.' Asked if he wanted to suck on some Un, Putin is said he was not that hungry.
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