Nobel and FIFA to swap roles

The worlds of international football and random selection of activity prize-giving have collided and been shaken up with the news that the Nobel Committee and FIFA are going to swap roles from now on.

The Nobel Committee are taking over international football tournaments, starting with the 2026 men's World Cup, but soon to include regional competitions like the European Championships, African Cup of Nations and the Copa America. Nobel has denied that they will grant Norway automatic qualification, at least not for the Copa America.

Meanwhile FIFA are following their innovative award of a Peace Prize to Donald Trump with a Gastronomy prize to be awarded to Luis Suarez, and an Economics prize to Michel Platini.

A spokesdemon denied that awarding a peace prize to Trump would earn FIFA bosses a spot on hell, saying that 'we've been keeping seats warm for everyone on the board of FIFA for years.'

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Trump awarded Knobel Piece Prize

After an extended peacekeeping effort where he stopped upwards of twenty wars, not all totally imaginary, President Trump is to be honoured by Norway.  A select committee has been formed to instigate the Knobel Prize for piece.

'President Trump has been awarded the prize for ensuring he has grabbed, in his own words, any piece of pussy available.  On top of that he has strived to ensure Russia gets more than one piece of Ukraine,' said a Norwegian spokesman, adding, 'and he's a knob, hence the committee.'

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Trump to invade Norway to get Peace Prize

With the talks between Putin and Trump in Alaska to shaft Ukraine looking unlikely President Trump has lamented the lost opportunity for him to win the Nobel Peace Prize, an award he believes should be his.  Consequently he has tasked Pete Hegseth to draw up plans to invade Norway to extract the Peace Prize for him, by force.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has convened and is proposing a sixth Nobel prize to the existing five - Peace, Physics, Chemistry, Medicine and Literature - the Nobel Irony Prize.  'We could have awarded the literature prize for the Art of the Deal,' suggested a Nobel Committee spokesman, 'but given the way he is wrecking the US economy that would also translate into irony as well.'