
"President Trump's case for the 2025 Peace Prize is overwhelming," said a spokes-dove for the Nobel awards committee.
"He says he wants a peace prize, which is good enough for us. And he has an impressive list of nominators.
"There's the cuddly Benjamin 'Bibi' Netanyahu, the Antichrist, and that Erin woman in Australia who killed her relatives with poisoned mushrooms.
"You think we're joking, don't you? But we're the committee which handed this prize to Henry Kissinger right at the time he was overseeing the bombing of neutral Cambodia during the Vietnam War.
"That's the kind of person we hand out this award to. So if you want to survive throughout your life with your reputation intact, just hope you never get put on a Nobel Peace Prize shortlist."
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