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Trump Peace Prize "in the bag" after Netanyahu nomination

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"President Trump's case for the 2025 Peace Prize is overwhelming," said a spokes-dove for the Nobel awards committee.


"He says he wants a peace prize, which is good enough for us. And he has an impressive list of nominators.


"There's the cuddly Benjamin 'Bibi' Netanyahu, the Antichrist, and that Erin woman in Australia who killed her relatives with poisoned mushrooms.


"You think we're joking, don't you? But we're the committee which handed this prize to Henry Kissinger right at the time he was overseeing the bombing of neutral Cambodia during the Vietnam War.


"That's the kind of person we hand out this award to. So if you want to survive throughout your life with your reputation intact, just hope you never get put on a Nobel Peace Prize shortlist."



Britain to Negotiate US/Canada Peace Agreement


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Great Britain has offered to negotiate a peace agreement between Canada and the United States.  This would allow the return of half of the United States to the Americans, while the rest would continue to be the eleventh province of Canada.


'I can't think of anything fairer than that' said a source close to one side or the other. 'Half each!  As for which half, I suppose Canada will want the top half - including Alaska - but it's not clear whether the Americans will want the bottom half.  It may be a bit near Mexico for their liking.'


'Maybe, if the Mexicans invade, they could negotiate to give half of their bottom portion to the Mexicans, in exchange for the Mexicans contributing to the cost of building a wall right round the whole of the American's remaining territory to keep out everyone, including the Canadians, the Mexicans and everyone else, including anyone who dares to wants to try to export anything to them.  Not sure what they'd do with Israelis though.'


image from pixabay

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