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USA bombs Epstein news


In a bold pre-emptive strike, the US has destroyed all paedo/cannibal headlines for at least 24 hours. Tehran will be the lucky recipients of distraction missiles and a large explosion of smoke and mirrors.


A Pentagon spokeswoman confirmed: 'The people of Iran will lay down their lives, so President Trump can have his peni$ redacted. The only thing that can save them are aliens-as that's an even bigger story.'


While a short campaign is preferred, this may change if Iran defends itself or if rumours of Donald Trump, Woody Allen and Mickey Mouse surface.


Jeffery and Andrew are typical names for a Muslim Grooming Gang


Leaked emails reveal the true extent of an international grooming gang, all of whom spent years worshipping Islam - primarily the Judeo-Christian bits. The arrest of Prince Andrew Albert Christian Edward Mountbatten-Windsor, the most Muslim sounding of all the Royals, proves just how Muslimey the whole thing is.


Andrew, when he wasn’t grooming grooms, would pray five time a day to Mummy or the CIA-to kill off his victims. He would fast during Ramadan, abstaining from chalet girls Dawn to Sunset-which also happen to be their stripper names. And he maintained fastidious cleanliness when it came to his internet search history.


When asked to comment on the arrest of Prince Andrew, the Muslim community said “Allahu Akbar”-which probably means they think he’s innocent, we don’t know, we couldn’t be bothered to use Google translate.


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