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Election spurred boom in dog sales



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With the long-awaited General Election now over, dog breeders have announced a boom in sales of dogs bought for the purpose of chaining the pooches to the railings of polling stations, mainly to photograph them. 


Blacksmiths have also enjoyed a spike in the sales of portable railings as many polling stations don't have indigenous suitable ironmongery.


'Don't forget, a dog is for ever, not just for polling day,' said an animal charity spokesperson.  'And don't forget to take your bloody portable railings, too,' he added.


People challenge Sunak's mince pie conundrum


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Following the release of a video of Prime Minister Rishi Sunak buying six packs of mince pies at a railway station in London, apparently for 'essential public sector workers', many members of the British public have challenged the video's purpose.


'Is he suggesting that there are only 36 people in the public sector worthy of a mince pie?' asked David from Basildon, 'or is he expecting to provide all the worthy members of the public sector a microscopic crumb?' he added.


Other questions include 'did he know he had to pay for those? Did his contactless card efforts work this time? Where the fuck do you park a helicopter in a railway station anyway?


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