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Their home is now close to collapse, with the risk of them being pulverized to ground-up pork. In the mid-90s they were assured that this was the most cost-efficient wolf-repellent. However recent studies show they would have done better to stick with straw and anti-wolf cladding.



The building is so structurally unsound, that the wolf no longer needs to huff or puff, a small sneeze will do it. One hairy-chinned pig complained: 'It's all a bit Grimm. Our fairytale house has turned into a nightmare.'



The original contractors were unavailable for comment but someone said there were seven of them and one of them looked a bit Dopey.




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First published 2 Sep 2023


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'I don't blame my minions for failing to reach a deal in Islama-ma-ma-bad,' slurred President Trump from the centre of a psychotic crowd at a UFC cage fighting arena in Dimwit, Kentucky.


'Vance, Witkoff and Jared simply don't have my peaceful instincts and finely-tuned negotiating skills - like demanding things and then shouting threats when I'm denied them.


'I would have been there at the talks myself to pull off the world's greatest ever peace deal like you wouldn't believe, but I had to be here watching UFC bouts for an entire evening with thousands of other blood-thirsty morons.


'Besides, I couldn't go for religious reasons. They tell me they don't allow pigs in Pakistan, and I'm a total pig.'


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