Residents have demanded the Andrew formerly known as Prince, remove his non-sweaty paws from their street name. They would rather be called Snatch Alley or Grabwell Road, than associate with Handsy Andy.
Duke of York pubs plan to rebrand, after the rumour of ten thousand men being assaulted by Andrew. Even Andrew Tate is changing his first name, so not to be mistaken for a different sex pest.
No roads will be linked to the ex-Prince, but a few buildings will keep their ties - Cheltenham Ladies' College, Woking Pizza Hut and New Scotland Yard.