top of page
Search

Prince Charles accepted million pound donation from Galactic Empire

  • Aug 3, 2022



Prince Charles is under increasing scrutiny today after the Sunday Times revealed that one of his charities accepted a million pound donation from the Galactic Empire.



A spokesman for the prince has said that the million pound donation, which was made a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, had been through all the appropriate checks and that it was made after Darth Vader became a ghost in Return of the Jedi.



A treasurer within the fund also said the donation was agreed “wholly” by the five trustees at the time, and “any attempt to suggest otherwise most likely the result of influence from the dark-side of the force.”


'Bloody leftie woke snowflake Royal Family' scream Conservatives





Staunch Conservatives are calling the Royal Family 'bloody leftie woke snowflakes' for not being completely behind their crackpot plot to pack pro-Brit people off to Rwanda.


Larry the Downing Street cat, who is now the only thing with a mouth making any sense anywhere near central government, said, 'It's a bit weird really. These Conservatives have been banging on for a couple of centuries about how fawningly royal loyal they are, and now they're suddenly livid with the royals for not being as psychotically vicious as they would currently like.


'It's not just that. Conservatives are supposed to be the party of not changing too much and keeping things nicely in a rut. And here they are tearing up traditions, shredding their own recent agreements, and splitting up the UK quicker than you can say 'Conservative and Unionist Party'.


'And only Conservatives can be trusted with the economy? Have you seen what they've done? Again? The economy is heading south quicker than Jacob Rees-Mogg can stuff his personal wealth anywhere but Britain. Frankly, I'm profoundly ashamed to be associated with this lot in any way. They have the patriotic Union Jack waving promise of a V2 rocket.


'It's all as topsy-turvy as getting me, a cat, in for the purpose of removing rats because I'm naturally predisposed to stalking and killing them, and then finding me licking rats affectionately and leaving them little love notes.'


bottom of page