Meghan and Harry’s new Netflix documentary ‘Behind closed Portcullises’ aims to smash the Palace back doors in and spill the caviar. An additional 'get to f*ck' was thrown in for good measure, personally aimed at Wills and Kate, with the release date timed with the Cambridge’s ‘landmark US tour.’
The tour, which America has deemed ‘totally unnecessary,’ will see the future King and Queen carted around America on a golden chariot, led by 12 white ponies and fanned by 55 slaves walking alongside, barefoot.
The total cost is believed to be £5 trillion which will be funded by the taxpayer, as well as specially selected children’s charities close to the Cambridge’s heart.
The stakes are high for the Royals. A royal insider said: 'It’s long been known that there are racist vampires residing at Buckingham Palace. Not Prince Philip, he was racist but not a vampire. Meghan and Harry have bought a series of very tall stakes, which they are currently sharpening and plan to use to purge the Palace of this evil once and for all.'
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