Harry reaps the whirlwind

King aghast at Harry’s charity problems

King Charles is reported to be horrified at Harry’s disastrous problems with the Sentabale charity.

Sources report him as saying, ‘This is pretty basic stuff.   Charity work is the third most important thing about being royal.  And he’s making a pig’s ear of it.

‘The first and second most important things about being royal are, number one, smiling.   Closely followed by number two, waving.  Mind you, that lad was only ever adequate at smiling and only satisfactory at waving.

‘He has probably exhausted himself with that smiling and waving, and that’s probably why he’s made such a mess of the charity work.  And it’s with a charity that is closely associated with his mother, for goodness’ sake. That boy is such an idiot.  And I don’t suppose that She Who Must Not Be Named has done anything to help Harry either.  Heavens above.  What a shit show.  Is that the expression?  Not something Mummy ever used to say.

‘And don’t tell anyone I said that.’

Image credit: Wix AI

King for sale, hardly used

UK selling King to raise emergency cash for much needed night out, and also with view to saving money by dropping Kingdom part of name.

High mileage. Non-runner. Needs work. Battery not included.

Full service history. See complete, multiple-duplicated Daily Express records. Some photos may have been augmented.

Comes with second-hand Queen for free. Ideal for anyone looking to complete part of broken up set. Those seeking 1980s-style Princess will be disappointed.

No obligation to take on costly responsibilities of piss-artist formerly known as Prince.

Will consider trade-in for Canadian Prime Minister.

No time wasters.

Image: WixAI