Andrew, the Prince of our Hearts, is committed to renovating Prince Harry's old residence, installing a sound proof dungeon and a bejewelled stripper poll. Andrew denied that he was deliberately trying to entice children and said the gingerbread walls were merely a coincidence.
Local witches have complained that their new neighbour is likely to scare off unsuspecting babes in the wood. Said one: 'He's even removed the traditional child-sized oven and replaced it with a pizza oven. Admittedly his taste in children is a little older than ours'
Asked if Andrew had applied for building permission, his aide said 'no sweat'.