Restaurant inexplicably refusing to use £ signs on menu

There is absolutely no reason, apart from utter pretentiousness and a desire to appear trendy for not using the £ sign in front of any items on their food and drink menus, a restaurant has confirmed.

The Hog and Farrier , an upmarket eaterie in Hoxton, London, serves sliders (8.5 each) artisan cheeseboards (16), grazing platters. (13.25) and mixed mezes (11.75) alongside craft beers (4-6.25 per schooner) carefully curated by a resident hop sommelier.

‘We haven’t used £ signs in front of our menu prices for some time now’ said Martin Da Costa, Deputy Libation and Gastronomy Manager. ‘It definitely makes us seem more edgy somehow, and elevates the description of our food items to an even higher level.

‘ ‘3 kinds of olives, infused with Mediterranean oils and topped with soft organic feta’, sounds so much more appealing when it’s followed by 9.5, instead of £9.50.’

‘There’s that added air of mystery to it with the customer left to work out whether it is £, euros, dollars, maybe even Saudi riyals, or Mexican pesos’, continued Da Costa.

‘If you gave me 1.00 for every time I was asked when we were going to stop this pretentious practice of not using £ signs on our menus, I’d be a rich man’, concluded Da Costa.

image from pixabay

The slap up fish supper

Fast food joint: 'Your heart disease looks exactly like the photo'

A generic burger chain’s terrifying cartoon mascot has fired back against criticisms that its food looks nothing like the adverts.

'Calling us a fast food restaurant leaves the word "restaurant" doing a lot of heavy lifting - much like the chairs in our outlets have to.'

'Of course your burger looks nothing like the one in the portrait - that's the burger of Dorian Gray. Our employees earn minimum wage. Our food has minimal nutritional content. Remember the horse meat scandal? At least that was meat.'

'Your chubby children belong to us now. Our free toys, empty calories and sugary drinks have seduced them. Maybe your self-respect is hiding underneath your second extra large portion of chips. No? Third portion's the charm.'

'Don’t worry, our food won't kill you - not immediately. Eat up!'

Photo by Tetiana Shevereva on Unsplash