British holidaymakers should arrive at their European departure airports at least a month before leaving the UK for a 2 week holiday. That's due to lengthy queues caused by new border checks.
The long delays getting through passport control have caused some passengers to miss return or connecting flights. Travellers are being advised to use time travel devices such as Star Trek's The Guardian of Forever, or The Atavachron, enable them to prepare for their return long before they depart these shores.
Travel writer for 'The Time Lord' newspaper, Dr Who, suggests people should consider investing in a Time And Relative Dimension In Space device similar to his, although even he has experienced difficulties getting supplies of Artron Energy, Mercury and Zeiton 7 due to the closure of the Strait of Hormuz
Airports said queues were worsening under the Entry Exit System which requires travellers to register fingerprints, give a DNA sample and and fill in a twenty page "How are we doing?" questionnaire.
A Reform party spokesperson said, 'It's all going very well' and suggested that if people were really serious about returning to their home, they should simply consider taking a small boat from Calais, or apply for dual citizenship like Nigel Farage's children.
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
