To deal with overcrowding the Home Office insisted that there will be cells within cells, with prisoners reduced to a single molecule. A government report celebrated this achievement before noting that all 12,000 molecules are now sharing the same molecule-sized cell.
Initially the prison population had been reduced to the size of a grain of rice. Explained one warden, ‘There was an emphasis on petty, small crimes-ideally with small criminals. The idea was to develop a strain of miniaturized prisoners. Microscopic ne’er-do-wells unseen to the naked Home Secretary. Trouble is they kept sneaking out through the keyhole. Last week the whole of Cell Block D snuck out on the hem of my trouser leg.’
During a riot, prisoners overturn a miniature dining table, causing a disturbance measurable only with advanced quantum equipment and a very concerned ant. The fear is that now many dangerous criminals are on the loose – but we just can’t spot them without a magnify glass.
Image: hannahalkadi - Pixabay
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