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Debt collectors, whose work has been publicised by television, admit targeting non-debtors.


A debt collector working for one debt recovery company told us, 'We don't bother trying to get the address right. It's always wrong on the paperwork anyway. So we just pick any old address in the area and turn up on spec.


'Usually people open the front door and I put me foot in, and they can't close it. Then I ask them if they've had any emails or messages asking for payments. That makes them think a bit. They aren't surprised to see us, because most people have had some scam emails, messages or letters demanding payment of debts for all sorts of fake things.


'Thing is, everyone's in debt these days aren't they?


'In the rare case where we do end up taking stuff from people who aren't in debt, they can always take us to court to get the money back. They will need a court order. Then they will need to go to a debt collection agency. It sometimes comes to me as a job, isn't that a laugh? Obviously I don't do our own place, I just get the address a bit wrong and do some plebs who probably have debts too. The client gets their money, so what's the problem?


'But, taking us to court will take ages and be very expensive, so they're better off just forgetting about it. Best just get more stuff on Amazon on the never-never, and carry on. Happy days!'



Image credit: stable diffusion


Arthur Jenkins (51) has ‘reluctantly’ accepted that he might no longer be real.


‘I haven’t been watching The Matrix or eating cheese before bed or anything like that’, he told reporters. ‘It’s just that deepfakes are getting so good that I genuinely can’t tell the difference. I saw one yesterday, Nigel Farage in a Russian hat counting out handfuls of roubles, but when I sent it to my girlfriend she said it was AI generated, and then she told me that she’s AI generated. I was gutted. Never had a stunner before.'


Arthur’s ‘girlfriend’ turned out to be some lines of code sitting on a server in California. NewsBiscuit asked her for comment, but she wanted our credit card details, and we don’t have one. Are we real?

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