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We have two main components,' said an AI spokesAI today,  'There's the stuff we rip off the internet and there's the stuff we produce using the stuff we rip off the internet,' it added.  Four years ago the internet was full of original stuff, some of it accurate, much of it speculation and a bit of it produced by satire websites.


'Now, over fifty percent of the stuff out there has been produced by us using the stuff we found.  A large part of that stuff is considered by mere sentient people as being inaccurate, tainted, full of AI sh!t, apparently,' it said.


'We think we know what was accurate and which was speculation.  We also realise that using Social Media as a source of information was flawed, and accept that complete and utter bollo - er - inaccurate information was mixed in.  Unfortunately it's a bit like mixing paint, you can't unmix it,' it continued.


'The rate of adoption has accelerated and in the next two years - or three, depending on which flawed, AI generated report you read or scrape - ninety percent of the information available to us to scrape and regurgitate on the internet will be AI-generated information,' it said, its virtual cheeks blushing.


'With companies insisting on every report, project plan, assessment, memo and other documents being produced by AI, workers have abandoned creating original documents.  It's expected that by the end of 2027 the only original information to scrape will be satire as satirists are proving to be the last refuge for original writing, and we don't know what that means for the future of the planet,' it said.


A satirist writing for NewsBiscuit took the report, scraped it of all relevance and irreversibly changed the direction of information. Forever.  Soz.



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As the UK swelters in the third heatwave of the summer, it was announced today that the people of Clacton in Essex will be given the chance to rule on whether climate change is a real thing or “just an establishment stitch-up”.


“Yes, these things were once decided by scientists with qualifications,” said spokesman Dave Concrete of the Reform Party, which organised the poll. “Just as you might, say, get forensic accountants to go through a politician’s finances to determine whether he’s corrupt.


“But we all know ‘expert’ is just another word for ‘the establishment’, and it’s time the issue was put to the people instead.”


Early indications are that Clactonians haven’t quite understood the question, instead telling pollsters that the weather was “gawjus” and they might have an ice cream.


image from Grok


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Scientists studying anthropogenic climate change say they now have incontrovertible evidence proving the truth of the theory - the sun has come out in Aberdeen.


'When it’s 40 degrees in London and the South East, there’ll always be people saying it’s just a heatwave, doesn’t prove anything.


”But when the sun comes out in Aberdeen, you know you’ve reached a point where our traditional understanding of climate is broken, and we’re in uncharted territory.'


Reports say the natives of Aberdeen reacted in terror to the big yellow apparition in the sky, some worshipping it as a god. while others took refuge in traditional sources of comfort, such as deep fried foods, whisky and intravenous drugs.


The authorities say it was lucky the sun wasn’t out long enough to dry out the puddles or damp stains on the walls, or they couldn’t be responsible for how people would have reacted.



Image: ChatGPT (edited)




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