Iceberg sends Captain of the Titanic 'cease and desist' letter

A former Iceberg has sent a legal "cease and desist" letter to Captain Edward John Smith demanding he stop saying it 'sank the Titanic.'

Its lawyers argue the claim made repeatedly by the seafarer is 'false and defamatory', and harmed it in its journey south from the North Pole, eventually causing it to melt.

The Captain's spokesman suggested the iceberg should also write to 'hundreds of people who lost their lives' and the millions who have had to endure that bloody song by Celine Dion.

Picture credit: Wix AI

A crude oil tanker

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'Arr, me hearties' said an eye-patch wearing P&O spokesman, feeding some crumbs to the enormous parrot on his shoulder, his one metal tooth glinting in the light.

'It's important for the land lubbers who run the enterprise to take the lion's share of Neptune's bounty. But some of them scurvy-ridden knaves have demanded a living wage! Even when we set sail in international waters? Keel haul 'em I say. Send 'em to Davy Jones' locker. Do they think we're made of Spanish gold? We'll make them walk the plank at the point of my cutlass, rather than pay them enough doubloons to live.'

The parrot flapped its wings and squawked 'Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight. But only for management.'  

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash