In a scene reminiscent of the Japanese soldiers found defending parts of jungle ten years after the war had ended, Reform bots are still active on social media. They are urging people to vote Starmer out, to call real users disparaging names, and to deny the five million pound bribe thousands of times a second.
Experts have reached out to Reform to ask them to rescue their bots. 'They have previous on this. Just last week we've spotted bots urging voters to vote for Reform in the 2024 General Election to make their vote count,' said one expert today. 'It's obviously up to them, but they are cluttering up social media with unnecessary historical bollocks which is squeezing out the up to date bollocks.'
A bot responded, 'don't care, still voting Nigel in 2024.'
Image credit: Wix AI
"We figured that negotiations in Islamabad would go nowhere if left solely in the hands of witless Steve Witkoff and that idiot princeling, Jared Kushner," said a US State Department source.
"That's why we've sent along a team of fake-tanned female TikTok influencers. I mean, why not give it a try? They've all made fortunes peddling snake oil to teenagers. Maybe they can sell a deal to the Iranians which will re-open the Strait of Hormuz."
"Who are we meeting?" asked beauty products influencer Sharon from Basildon, cluelessly. "Some bloke called Mohammad-Bagher Ghalibaf?"
"Crazy name, crazy guy!" interjected bottle-blonde Karen from New Jersey. "I'll start off by selling him this $20.99 beard trimmer and some smashed avocado hair tonic, then he'll be putty in my Gen Z hands."
"We abhor these degenerate Western influencers!" ranted a spokesman for the Islamic Republic. "To us, they are 'sinfluencers'- nothing but a bunch of filthy whores and Jezebels!
"How much do they charge for a night?"