Exclusive - Sue Gray forced to complete her report in Coventry monastery cloister

Friends of Sue Gray have told Newsbiscuit that for the past five months, senior civil servant Sue Gray has been holed up in a nondescript cloister in the ruins of St Mary's Priory in Coventry.

Stoic Sue Gray is said to have stood up quite well to being sent to Coventry to do her work and a significant part of the report is believed to include findings that were missed by Time Team experts when they conducted a dig at the site in 1999 that revealed the ruins.

Whilst she not known as a historian or archaeologist, it is believed that Sue Gray's extensive knowledge of how modern government works has enabled her to have a greater insight into the medieval period than most archaeologists will have had.

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Her Royal Highness, Sue Gray, admits to meeting with Boris Johnson on a number of ocassions

A spokesman for senior, but otherwise ordinary civil servant Sue Gray has admitted she met with Prime Minister Boris Johnson on a number of occasions.

Ms Gray, the country's top civil servant, met the Prime Minister a couple of weeks ago and insisted that the Sue Gray report would be issued without any edits.

He said that in a subsequent meeting, Sue Gray, MBE insisted that the majority of the details would be provided without redaction. After a further meeting, according to the spokesman, Sue Gray OBE would consider some edits but it wasn't until the Prime Minister met Lady Gray did she agree to let the government advise on edits, but didn't commit to agreeing to any of them.

He said that Her Royal Highness, Queen Sue Gray, VC, DSC, DCMG has determined that she is way too busy to issue the report and has agreed to knight Sir Boris Johnson at the earliest opportunity.

Sue Gray to produce report into Sue Gray report

Following the finalisation of the Metropolitan Police investigation into Partygate, the government has decided it needs to carry out a report into the Sue Gray report before it can release it. A government spokesman said, 'clearly this could have serious ramifications so we need to make sure we understand what they are and what we need to do to ensure we react correctly to the Sue Gray report, so the Prime Minister has asked Sue Gray to look into the the Sue Gray report and to produce a report into the impact of the release of the Sue Gray report.'

The report is expected to take six to twelve months to complete, but the Prime Minister has promised that the Sue Gray report into the Sue Gray report will be published 'without delay' when it is finished and considers that will draw a line under the whole affair as, he explained, it completes his promise to publish the Sue Gray report without delay. When asked about the original Sue Gray report that this Sue Gray report is reporting on the spokesman said, 'oh, look, an MP watching porn on his phone, ' and left the building before he could be asked any more questions.

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