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Immediately after announcing his resignation as leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson said he would stand in next week’s elections for the 1922 Committee executive.
'As I am, errr…that is to say…no longer leader of the party, I am, ipso facto, not a senior Tory and urgo I am duly eligible to join the 1922 Committee and stand for its executive. QED!'
Had Johnson not resigned, it was widely expected that the new executive would have changed its rules so backbenchers did not need to wait a year between launching no confidence votes in the leader.
In an unexpected twist, Johnson has now come out in favour of changing the rules and is making this a key strand of his campaign.
He said the rules should clearly state that if the party leader resigns but stays on as Prime Minister. 'Out of the goodness of my...I mean their…heart to ensure stability over the summer, then the post of Prime Minister must be inferred on them for my…I mean their…lifetime.'
He added that anybody called Gove should be barred for any leadership bid and should be given the title of "oily, little snake-like traitor".
'I completely see the need to change these rules, he said. 'It is crucial to the survival of my career…I mean democracy within the party.'
Jacob Rees-Mogg described the proposals as “eminently sensible” and offered his resignation from the Cabinet in support.
story: stanleym
Mr Bennett, the accident-prone but lovable janitor from 80s kids-TV classics Take Hart and HartBeat has offered his services to form a caretaker government.
Bennett, speaking from his messy studio in White City, London in trademark beige work jacket, pointed to his vast experience in dealing with annoying little shites who you would really like to smash over the head and pummel into a flat piece of clay on a table.
'Won't be a problem,' said Bennett, adopting a characteristic side-glance to camera with forced grin. 'Steadying the ship for the sack-of-shits that are the Tories will be a piece of piss compared to some of the situations I faced with Morph.
'I can mould people to my will...well, in the case of Morph, I used to just mould him to the wall, but not till after the cameras had stopped rolling and Tony had gone off to judge the entries in The Gallery,' continued Bennett.
Other caretakers, including Big Sam Allardyce have predictably thrown their hat in the ring. Jack Torrence, the crazed caretaker played by Jack Nicholson in The Shining has also expressed an interest in the job, but has been ruled out as the current incumbent in Number 10 is known to be even more mad and deluded.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/alexas_fotos-686414/
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