British road users will no longer find themselves seething with frustration while stuck behind a clueless driver who can't change gears. Thanks to new legislation they will be deported to Rwanda until they get a full licence to drive on British roads. 'We can guarantee they'll be treated humanely there", says a Home Office spokesman. "They'll be given free L-plates on arrival and can get driving lessons at a discount from local warlords.'
"Personally, I think it's for the best", says 38-year-old BMW driver Frank Mason. "You need to earn the right to stay in Britain, and that means being able to do a three-point turn and overtake on the cycle lane when you find yourself in a traffic jam.'
The first provisional licence holder was stopped and detained early this morning and is now awaiting deportation. Fifty-six-year-old Mavis Beckford, who has failed her test six times, was pulled over while driving up the A30 at 45mph and will be flown to Rwanda tomorrow. 'Personally, I have no time for these L-plate people with their huge sense of entitlement,' says arresting officer David Lake. 'She says she was just going up to Basingstoke to "seek a better life" - yeah, right.'