As the first day of the month hits the UK, early reports show that the "pinch, punch, first day of the month" ritual has seen a steady rise on last year. Playful pinches and punches still make up 86% of all interactions, which is flat versus 2024. The "slightly too hard, maybe there was something behind that" strikes have seen a slight decline. Proper punches and pinches that show intention to bruise or cause dead arms have doubled to 4% on 2024 showing an alarming rise in the malevolent intentions versus the tradition's innocent origins. The rise is, of course, coming from the secondary schoolboy demographic whose violent interactions have added a new dimension to the somewhat playful intent.
What has alarmed government observers is the erosion of the "no returns" rule which is seeing flouting on over 90% of interactions. Some ignoring of "no returns" rules sometime turn into year long feuds and running battles. Nigel Farage has put this erosion of tradition values down to immigrants and those that do not uphold the British way of life and has petitioned the Government to scrap adherence to the European Convention of Human Rights where "pinch punch" rules are enshrined but not enforced.
Image: Bru-nO - Pixabay
