'Carriages at Midnight' means 'order your own Uber', bride and groom confirm

The phrase 'carriages at midnight' on the bottom of a wedding invitation does actually mean you should order your own cab at the end of the evening's festivities, it has been confirmed.

The news ends intense speculation from recipients of wedding invites everywhere that they might be welcomed by a fleet of lavish, 19th century horse-drawn transportation with gold-leaf trimmings, welcomed by an army of fawning footmen, at the end of the wedding reception at a provincial hotel, to take them back to their Premier Inn lodgings in the nearest town centre. 

'Yeh, sorry about that, no Cinderella-style carriages, but you can use the phone in the Mercure reception area, which connects you directly to Arrow cabs, who are both reliable, and very competitively priced', said Mark McBride, one groom-to-be, in response to numerous queries.  'Maybe we should have put that instead on the invitation, to be fair'. 

'And while you're here, 'Dress Code: Fully Fabulous' means wear a dress, or a suit and tie, no wacky shite, please', continued McBride. 'And I hope 'the bar is open but your wallet is too' is clear enough for everyone to decipher.'. 

'Oh, and for the avoidance of doubt, 'Your presence is our present, however if you would like to follow tradition...' does actually means 'definitely buy us an expensive gift, or even better a cash transfer into our bank (account details below)' confirmed McBride.  'Do you know how much this bloody wedding is setting us back!'. 

A nightmare about Cooper's Hill, Glos.

The old English tradition of Mandy Thursday

Mandy Thursday, also known as the Festival of St. Peter, has been celebrated in England since 1985, when Peter Mandelson was first appointed to a government post.  That’s right – over 40 years ago!  Mandy comes from the Latin word mandatum, meaning give me all your money.

The Holy day is usually celebrated in London by the distribution of Mandy Money.  Originally, Mandy Money was given out as special coins by the monarch, but more recently Mandy Money has been handed out as special payments by the government.  Over the years Mandy Money has been given out for many things, taken many forms, including bonuses, pay rises, redundancy payments, travel costs, promotions, bonuses, severance payments, expenses, and so forth.  In similar fashion, the amount of Mandy Money was originally to be determined by the monarch, but the current arrangements are that the recipient determines the amount for himself.  On the most important occasions Mandy Money is handed over in a ceremonial brown paper envelope.

In recent years the Mandy Money tradition has fallen into disrepute because of negative associations with the convicted paedophile, Jeffrey Epstein.

Image credit: perchance.org