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The Met. Police have corrected and reissued their crime figures for the last ten years, after an unfortunate series of errors in data collection and processing.


The affected figures relate to the detection rate for murders. These figures have now been revised down from percentages in the high nineties to the low forties. The incorrect figures erroneously included crimes solved by officers on loan to other police forces.


This large correction is due to the inclusion of murders solved by a number of different detectives on secondment. The issue relates mainly to staff on loan to the police force in the fictional British overseas territory of Saint Marie.


A spokesman said, ‘The figures were distorted by the very high number of murders on the island of Saint Marie – at least one a week – and by the very impressive clear up rate of one hundred per cent. Our colleagues on loan to the Saint Marie police service have a fantastic record, and we are looking to learn lessons from them going forward.


‘Of course, you don’t have to go abroad to find great detection rates. There is an English police force with a record that is just as good. It’s in Midsomer.’




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The iconic Pub is to move from EastEnders, four decades after it's first appearance on the soap.


In a statement the 40-year-old facade said it was "extremely sad" but also "very excited". It denied rumours that it had extensive work done in 2022 at a huge cost to the BBC.


The BBC has also announced EastEnders will broadcast a live episode on 20 February, which will include a plot outcome which will be decided by viewers who will be asked if vacant space on the square will become aVape shop run by Ian Beale, a Multi-story carpark, or charity shop.


Queenie said: "After 40 solid years on the square, I have decided it's time to move on to pastures new" leading to speculation that, ia departure from it's normal role, it is believed to have a part lined up as a sheep shed on Emmerdale.





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It was announced today that HBO will release a sequel to award-winning political show The West Wing, focussing on the years of “Grandpa” Joe Biden’s presidency.


Writer Aaron Sorkin’s heavy cocaine use has often been cited as the reason for the fast-talking intellectual brilliance of the original show. It’s thought he’s now taking ketamine to help him reproduce Joe Biden’s speech patterns.


'There was scene in the West Wing where the president accidentally took two different pain meds when he was supposed to take one or the other, and became dazed and incoherent as a result,” explained Sorkin. “So now I just have to write the whole show that way.'


'The Biden Years will contain just as many witty and quotable lines as the original,' an HBO executive reassured reporters today. “'n fact, even though the show hasn’t officially been released, the scene where Biden assembles his staff and tells them ‘We gotta beat Medicare… the number of people, so many people… I just can’t believe… they never even… is it Tuesday today?’ has already become a viral internet sensation.'


It’s not known what new elements they plan to introduce for the second season, though the title of the first episode is said to be “The 25th Amendment”.

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