top of page
Search

Autumn TV schedules filled with political game shows





Do TV schedulers copy each other? It certainly seems that way, as the airwaves this autumn are filled with game shows that have a political twist.


Here is a quick rundown.


No Deal or No Deal - a game show that challenges contestants to fix the Northern Ireland protocol


Tipping Point - contestants win prizes by correctly guessing where raw sewage is being discharged, and in what quantity


Beat the Chaser - government ministers don't have to answer any questions, as long as they can stay ahead of the chaser. Dominic Cummings stars.


Who Wants to be a Millionaire - a quiz show for people who want to win government PPE contracts, often by phoning a friend


Tenable - a competition to find out which of the Tory leadership candidates are Number Ten-able


Total Wipeout - another competition to find the next Tory leader, but with the tantalising prospect of some serious injuries


Jeux sans Frontieres - England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Sark compete to be crowned European Champions


Insert Name Here - Sue Perkins leads the search for the next Tory leader

Changing Rooms - Keir Starmer has to redecorate 10 Downing Street with a budget of £4.50


Countdown - contestants try to guess the date of the next General Election

This is my House - Tory hopefuls try to convince Lord Sugar that they could live at Number 10


Two shows didn't make the cut. Political Naked Attraction was judged repulsive by focus groups and all tapes have been confiscated by party whips. And although pilot episodes of Political Pointless were filmed, they will not be aired because contestants found it far too easy to spot pointless policies.



First published 31 Aug 2022



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?















European leaders ask Japanese to develop 500” and 1,000” TVs

After peace talks in Yankeeland failed to interest the US President in stopping the war in Ukraine, a new initiative in offering Putin a 500” TV that he can do Zoom call on from his absurdly long desk to offer as an incentive to pull out of Ukraine is hoped might provide the diplomatic solution needed.


A second 1,000” TV to be given to Trump, has also been requested, so he can fall asleep watching golf, with reporters whispering even more quietly at crucial moments, so they don’t wake him up, is expected to help in restoring normality to the world economy.




Contestant-Free Masterstroke Leaves MasterChef '100% Gregg, 100% Bangers'


TV viewers are reportedly 'delighted' that, following the editing out of contestant Sarah Shafi, who voiced 'sweet little concerns in a girly whisper, bless her' over the objectionable behaviour of hosts Greggg Wallace and John Torode, the new series of Masterchef is en route to featuring no contestants whatsoever.


'It's been a difficult period for the show,' confirmed a BBC spokesperson, 'But we think we've finally nailed her - sorry - got our finger on the nub of the swollen issue - so to speak- and fondled the perfect format into touch, literally. Our first, ahem, masterstroke, was editing out a gender and ethnic minority contestant for objecting to providing a platform for sound-as-a-pound presenters against whom a footling 46 claims of inappropriate language and behaviour have been legally - and, ooh, firmly - upheld. Then we thought: why stop there?


'So we simply removed at a stroke - haha - all the female contestants, who weren't exactly pulling their weight (and don't get me started on that can of would-it-be-too-much-trouble-to-make-a-little-effort, eh, girls?) to make their reedy delusions heard over the top of Gregggg's beautifully shrieked bons mots. Then anyone a bit ...'you know'; followed by any remaining top laaads not laughing themselves strangulated every time Grabb leered: 'Stick that up your leaky noisette, Nigella!'


'By show four, his sublime move into pure, unsullied mime (and it's hard - teehee - to get it alternating direction every swing) was raising - wait for it - no more than a titter, so we had no choice but to let the rest go. Fortunately this means there's nothing to come - yes please, mummy- between the real, engorged talent and buffing up some pretty impressive hardware - sorry, needed a moment there - next awards' season.


'Other than basic morals and respect for our viewers, but let's face it: we've proved that's as shrivelled as a whelk's wiener on a winter morning.'


bottom of page