About 100 years too late, the UK has said it will recognise the State of Palestine, now that it is pretty much destroyed. Palestinians agreed that it was nice to be recognised, but it would have been nicer to be recognised while they were still alive.
The formal process involves handing over a treaty, unfortunately the UK can find lots of Palestian hands, but no actual arms connected to them. An aide of Sir Keir explained: 'This isn't the sort of thing you want to rush. It's much easier to give sufficient land to the Palestinians if the population is zero.' Said one diplomat. 'What's the State of Palestine? I'd say it was in a pretty bad state.'
While the United States is choosing to prevent Ukraine defend itself, many European countries are preparing to provide peace-keeping forces in Ukraine to help maintain the peace, should a ceasefire be agreed. The United Kingdom is expected to provide troops and material, the French - troops and catering, the Germans - troops and sausages and so on.
The United States of America is currently sulking so is not expected to show up, however President Putin has offered to provide Russian troops to compensate. In fact, he's offering two troops for every Ukrainian, British, French, German etc troops in the country 'for balance'.
Keir Starmer is understood to be delighted at the offer of help. 'It's nice to finally meet a world leader who keeps his word,' he is understood to have said.
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