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70% of all independent bookshops are run by a wizard

Statistics show that the majority of owners have spell like abilities and are waiting for the 'chosen one' to accidently walk into their store. The witch/wizard will then reveal to the chosen one the prophecy and the series of magical tasks they must complete.

Said one berobed owner: 'I deliberately extend my opening hours to midnight, to allow for adventurers to visit. I'll then lurk around the occult and self-help section, only revealing myself at the creepiest moment'.

The report concludes that of these owners most look to be over 100 years old, are curmudgeonly and have eyebrows that defy all logic. All will greet visitors with the phrase 'found what you're looking for?', all have half moon spectacles and everyone will insist that any grimoire is only available in hardback, to bump up the price.


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