The UK government introduced a blanket ban on blankets today, to save blankets, triggering blanket confusion across the country.
When asked point blank if the blanket ban included pigs with blankets, a government spokesperson looked blank, appearing on camera like a wet blanket that got out from under the wrong side of the blanket.
Pig groups subsequently blanketed the blanket secretary with questions but drew a blank, giving them a blank cheque to blanket the press with claims that without pig blankets, Christmas would be a blank.
Bradley Walsh, host of Blankety Blank, said that a blanket ban was little more than a security blanket, and that on Blankety Blank and the minster responsible would be called a blankety-blanker.
In blanketing the country with a blanket ban on blankets, the blanket secretary has triggered blanket fever as blanket confusion causes everyone to go blank, (to use the blanket term).
The government is hastening to fill in the blanks, and, in the words of one minister, 'put the issue to bed'