"...And This is Razor, my American Pit Bull Terrier, Just After he Mauled my Ex-Girlfriend."

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up: "No number of free Nespressos could persuade Sally that this bloke was George Clooney." (Gary Allen); "As they watched the "Mrs Brown's Boys Christmas Special", the room darkened and closed in around them." (Flash Arry).