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Chanel gives up Number 5 for Cristiano Ronaldo

Manchester United forward Edinson Cavani has relinquished the number 7 on the back of his football shirt so that people can recognise the otherwise unrecognisable Cristiano Ronaldo.

Without the number 7 beneath the name Ronaldo on his back, many feared they might mistake the world famous Portuguese international footballer for someone else. Thanks to the selfless and heroic gesture by Cavani, any possibility of CR7 brand recognition failure is now limited to Thornton Heath near Croydon.

Inspired by Cavani's generosity and Boots offering to give up number 7 as well, smelly women-maskers Chanel have now offered the prestigious number 5 to Ronaldo. This has led to a domino effect of numbers being given to the sporting superstar, who many assumed to be suffering from a dangerous digit deficiency.

An unnamed mobile phone network has offered the number 3, and toddlers going potty have said that Cristiano can have as many number 2s as he likes. A bitter dispute has escalated between sudoku and the emergency services telephone number over who gets to gift the number 9. But the Redhill to Guildford bus route is certain that Ronaldo will be more impressed with the number 32 than any other digits being handed to him.

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