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Electorate displaying signs of Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm Syndrome leads to strong emotional ties that develop between the harasser and the victim – which explains James Corden’s popularity. Despite years of abuse, most voters look set to ask Theresa May for five more years of bondage and tax avoidance. Famous victims of the syndrome include Nick Clegg and Rod Hull’s ‘Emu’.

Patterns of behaviour include an attachment to austerity and schadenfreude. With voters emerging from the polling booth, with same bleary-eyed acceptance of someone with a return ticket to ‘Josef Fritzl’s Dungeon of Fun’ or with a season ticket on Southern Rail.

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