Jay Blades: Our guest today has an ancient an much loved heirloom. Charles, do tell us about it.
HRH Chuck Three: Well, Jay, it is the British Monarchy. It has been with our family since 1917.
JB: You are talking about the Windsor marque?
HRH: Indeed. It has actually been with the family a lot longer than that, but we rebranded it at that time.
JB: I see. So, why have you brought it in today?
HRH: Well, it's just not running that well. It doesn't keep up with the times and it can make a lot of disturbing noises at the most inappropriate times. We had a new cog fitted in the 80s. The Diana. And that seemed to keep it running well for a while, but then it was damaged and had to be removed. That has had a knock-on effect on some of the smaller parts of the mechanism.
JB: OK, let's have a look. German engineering... aha! I see you have had a Meghan fitted.
HRH: Yes. we thought that it would support the Harry, but it seems to have taken on the driving role for that part of the mechanism.
JB: There's yer problem. It is an an American part. They run OK for a while but then undermine the performance of the whole structure.
HRH: What would you suggest?
JB: I would leave it in for now. Trying to remove it would do more harm than good. It may come away of its own accord given time.
HRH: What about the Andrew?
JB: I think we both know, that has to go. Is there anything else we can help you with?
HRH: Well, we do have have a poorly performing PM. Wherever we put it, it causes turmoil.
JB: Get out!