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EXCLUSIVE! Out-take from Charles' visit to The Repair Shop

Jay Blades: Our guest today has an ancient an much loved heirloom. Charles, do tell us about it.

HRH Chuck Three: Well, Jay, it is the British Monarchy. It has been with our family since 1917.

JB: You are talking about the Windsor marque?

HRH: Indeed. It has actually been with the family a lot longer than that, but we rebranded it at that time.

JB: I see. So, why have you brought it in today?

HRH: Well, it's just not running that well. It doesn't keep up with the times and it can make a lot of disturbing noises at the most inappropriate times. We had a new cog fitted in the 80s. The Diana. And that seemed to keep it running well for a while, but then it was damaged and had to be removed. That has had a knock-on effect on some of the smaller parts of the mechanism.

JB: OK, let's have a look. German engineering... aha! I see you have had a Meghan fitted.

HRH: Yes. we thought that it would support the Harry, but it seems to have taken on the driving role for that part of the mechanism.

JB: There's yer problem. It is an an American part. They run OK for a while but then undermine the performance of the whole structure.

HRH: What would you suggest?

JB: I would leave it in for now. Trying to remove it would do more harm than good. It may come away of its own accord given time.

HRH: What about the Andrew?

JB: I think we both know, that has to go. Is there anything else we can help you with?

HRH: Well, we do have have a poorly performing PM. Wherever we put it, it causes turmoil.

JB: Get out!

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