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First novelty mascot born in captivity

The world of entertainment is in a state of frenzied excitement with news that a pair of novelty mascots have mated and successfully produced a baby.

Sports club mascots and their corporate gonk cousins breed freely in the wild, but with trapping now illegal ageing captive mascot populations are dwindling at an alarming rate.

A screening and breeding program was developed to reverse the decline by initially mating a carefully selected compatible pair: the male being Occo the Octopus from the Ocean Centre Aquarium outside Barnsley and the female, Bella the Bus, from the Pennine Bus Company Hockey Team in Huddersfield.

Head of Reproduction at the Dept. Of Health & Mascot Care, Clive Smith added: “The pair were encouraged to perform at each other’s venues and it didn’t take long for the relationship to blossom. Although, due to the irregular body shapes of the subjects, finding a satisfactory position for consummation initially proved challenging, and artificial insemination by dipstick was considered.

“Incredibly, before too long it was noticeable that Bella was acting in a manner consistent with pregnancy by guzzling used oil and instructing Occo to build a family garage.”

Speaking after the birth of a boy, proud mum Bella said: “During the delivery Occo kept everyone’s energy up, giving multiple high-fives and having photos taken with the team. At one point I was having trouble pushing, so Occo started a Mexican wave and the baby instinctively threw his arms out, the midwife did the rest.

“We don’t know what the future holds for our baby, we’re just happy he’s got a big, fat head, eight limbs and four wheels.”

image from pixabay

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