top of page

Google Glasses – 'would have' detected Savile

In a claim that will once more open up the privacy debate, Google have declared that their innovative glasses could have helped police in identifying celebratory perverts. 'For a long time now, the public have struggled to distinguish between Ant and Dec. Yes they look like Geordie hobbits, but which is which? These glasses will tell you'. When reporters pointed at that neither Ant or Dec had been implicated in any wrong-doing, Google clarified: 'That’s irrelevant. Their appearance alone will reveal their propensity for crime. Take celebrity couple Tess Daly and Vernon Kay. Ms. Daly is symmetrical perfection, while Mr Kay with his broken nose, lazy eye, cauliflower ear – would give Picasso nightmares. Clearly we can conclude that Ms. Daly is an angel whose farts smell of cinnamon, while Mr Kay is a psychopath who corrupts goats. Basic science'.

85 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are only 'part-tim

bottom of page