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Guide to being an edgy comedian

1. Always punch down - they'll never expect it!

2. Use the 'N' word. (Unless you’re black - that's too obvious).

3. Host charity events while not paying taxes.

4. Having 1 million followers on Twitter but no self-awareness.

5. Claim you are a truth teller while quoting Fox news.

6. Refuse to drop kick Giles Coren, even when you had a chance.

7. Mistaking sneering for insight.

8. Mistaking dinner parties for political parties.

9. Pretending that you are the only person who thinks Boris is a kn$b.

10. And yet willingly sacrifice your own children to Beelzebub for a chance of your own gameshow.

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