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‘If only I’d thought to use a wheelchair’ Weinstein tells George Bush Snr.




Having apologised for sexual assault, the former President has been applauded for the dignified and statesmen-like manner with which he goosed an actress. As experts will attest, there is a sweet spot for being a vilified sex offender. Early 20s is far too young.  Eighty-plus is too implausible, but 40-70 is in the ‘pervert zone’. Old enough to know better, but still mobile. At 93, the wheelchair-bound, ex-President could easily be fended off by a stern word or by the use of stairs.


No longer covered by Presidential immunity, George Bush Snr. has been forced to apply for ‘dirty, old bastard’ amnesty.  Explained a legal spokesman: ‘It’s like being a Nazi Commandant. Yes, you’re abhorrent at the time, but as the years tick by, there comes a point where you look like Santa. And who wouldn’t want to sit on Santa’s knee...while he gropes you’. Said his spokesman: ‘Please remember that President Bush suffers from a form of Parkinson's disease. Cecil Parkinson that is.’





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