As the lockdown ‘rule of six’ extends to all social gatherings, except hunting, teenagers are resorting to wearing jodhpurs to nightclubs and taking deer to house parties. You can still hold a family barbeque if poultry are invited; although, naturally, the chickens might be suspicious of your motives.
Under regulations you can be fined up to £3,200 but your payment will be refunded if you then bludgeon a badger with a shovel. Said one youth: ‘I wanted to visit my friends, so I dressed up as a fox and let them chase me around the park for half an hour. It was a good laugh, until someone unleashed twenty hounds and I had to hide in a storm-drain.’
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